Tips + Tools for a Summer of Fun, Growth and Memories

Tips and Tools for Creating a Summer of Fun, Growth and Memories

As you read this, I imagine you are amongst many people who are managing the end-of-school-year push or if you are finished with school already, are trying to manage the different pace and the sometimes less structured summer routine.

To help with this, I was originally planning to share great ideas in this newsletter about making the most of the summer:

• how to use everyday summer activities to build our kids’ executive function skills during these short and fun-focused months

• providing tips and tools to help the days stay more structured and manageable for us and our neurodivergent kids who do best with some level of structure and routine.

However, my inbox was filled these past two weeks with many articles about this topic by several of my executive function skill colleagues and other trustworthy resources.

More importantly, though, I recently came across an article in Scientific American by Dr. Jerome Schultz that reminded me about a topic that has not been written about frequently, nor have I written about it in a newsletter, so I am pivoting to share my thoughts with you about this essential and important topic:

TALKING TO OUR NEURODIVERGENT KIDS

ABOUT THEIR DIAGNOSIS

I have long believed that knowledge is power, and this belief was solidified even more through my education and experience as a physical therapist and Early Intervention Specialist, working with numerous infants and toddlers whose development was delayed, many times for unknown reasons.

While the children wouldn’t always have a diagnosis (and certainly we never wanted anything to be a life-altering diagnosis),  we would sometimes have to share observations or concerns about a child’s development with a parent and recommend that they talk with their pediatrician to begin the process of discovering if there was a diagnosis that could explain the difference in developmental expectations, either quantitative or qualitative. This conversation and process was and is never easy nor did we ever want it for any parent, but once the child got to the right doctor and was diagnosed accurately, it ultimately helped the parents (and those of us supporting the parents) get important information about their child so that they could seek and receive (and we could provide) the necessary and appropriate treatment for them.

The diagnosis itself didn’t change who the child was nor our abilities to enjoy our time with the child, but it did provide us with a greater understanding of how all of us could best help the child.

Similarly, for parents of kids who are newly diagnosed with a brain-based difference like ADHD, autism, or a learning disability, the diagnosis itself doesn’t change who our wonderful child is or our ability to love and enjoy them; it does, however, provide information about how our child’s brain works and provides a roadmap for getting the right treatment and support. In some cases, it also provides access to specialized services and resources which are otherwise unavailable.

For all of these reasons and for reasons that  Dr. Schultz describes in his article, sharing our child’s diagnosis with them, is an important and necessary step towards understanding, acceptance, better health, and empowerment of us as parents, but even more importantly of our child.

“When kids have a better understanding of the condition that affects their learning, they tend to have a better self-concept, and they are more likely to feel empowered and motivated to self-advocate. These keys unlock a child’s potential, resulting in better academic performance and better mental health.”

Now I am not necessarily saying it is a cakewalk as a parent to hear or accept a diagnosis much less share it with our child. We sometimes need time to adjust to the news and to understand what it means for the journey we thought we were on with our child. For some parents, however, receiving a diagnosis is a tremendous relief because it finally provides the explanation for why things were so difficult and oftentimes confusing.

In both instances, though, knowledge of a diagnosis is power and that power is important to share with our child. When sharing the diagnosis with them, it is important to share it from a place of acceptance and hope in which we embrace the child we have, including their neurodivergent diagnosis, and set aside (for the conversation at least) any fear or uncertainty we have about the diagnosis so it does not negatively impact our child’s self-image or sense of self.    

In contrast, when we share the diagnosis with our child in this way, we set the stage for helping our child see this diagnosis as a way to understand themselves better and learn about possibilities for treating, managing, and accessing the necessary supports through the lens of being empowered to face any uncertainty related to the diagnosis with hope, trust, patience, and collective problem-solving.

Through this process of sharing our child’s diagnosis with them, we give them several gifts but they all start with the gift of self-knowledge:

• knowledge about how their brain works,

• knowledge about why they might do things differently than their siblings, peers, or others (different, not wrong),

• knowledge about why certain things are harder for them and how to overcome or work around those challenges and most importantly,

• knowledge that they are not a bad person, a problem child, stupid, lazy, or disrespectful, but rather that they have a brain that works differently, and we have to learn what the means and how that looks and how to manage it; and that

• while it might be hard to do things, each child, no matter the diagnosis, has their own unique and wonderful skills, talents, and strengths.

From this self-knowledge eventually develops greater self-awareness that is not based in failure, uncertainty or shame, but rather, as Dr. Schultz shares, in empowerment and skills that benefit our children:

• greater self-confidence, 

• greater self-regulation (managing emotions and our response to tasks, comments, or events)

• greater self-agency (acting and doing things we want to do;feeling in control of our actions)

• greater self-advocacy (our ability to communicate our needs and ask for help), and

• greater self-determination (our ability to do what we need to do, not just what we want to manage our life and achieve our goals; to manage the hard things and keep going)  

When put all together, these benefits and skills ultimately help our children through the peaks and valleys of life on a path towards achieving their goals, pursuing things they enjoy (while also attending to the things that are necessary and not as fulfilling), developing independence, and sharing their gifts with the world.   

And this path from discovery to empowerment and determination begins with us talking with our kids

about their diagnosis.

So if you haven’t yet talked with your child about their diagnosis, please consider all of the benefits to having that conversation, especially now, during these summer months, when the pace of life can be slower,  and you and your child can spend more time together exploring and discovering what it means to have, as Debbie Reber says, a “differently wired” brain, and how to move forward in the process from self-awareness to empowerment

If you have already had the conversation, summer can be a wonderful time to provide opportunities to reinforce and engage your child’s strengths:

• Do things together that they enjoy and are good at to build or rebuild their confidence after a year of academics (which they may or may not have found easy).

• Attend camps that align with their interests

• Consider spending 1:1 time with them and letting them take the lead and teach you

• Consider finding a mentor for your child to help them learn even more about what they enjoy

• Join Ideal4Gifted, EdRev, or other summer programs at libraries or museums that offer activities  (see the happenings below for more ideas)

• And if you need more ideas for how to build on your child’s strengths, ask them what they might enjoy doing! They would probably love to share their ideas with you!

Of course it is also important to be mindful of and help our kids embrace their challenges with a growth mindset as Carol Dweck  would say, and we can do that with them through different activities depending on their challenges, interests, and learning profile:

• Here are the articles about building EF skills through the summer I was originally thinking of writing about, too:

  • Seth Perler Vlog about Executive Function Skills in the Summer

  • Sean McCormack of EF Specialists on building EF Skills over the Summer .

  • NESCA on EF Skills building over the Summer

  • ADDitude Magazine

• Play a variety of games (Uno, Blokus, Mastermind, Charades, Scrabble, Bananagrams, Sequence, Guess Who, Hangman, Memory, Cards, Yahtzee, Scattegories, and more) to build math, logic, reading, memory, and writing skills while having fun

• Cook, do arts and crafts or other fun project-based activities  and together, you can find ways to have fun while building skills  (make sure to leave plenty of time and be patient; it is the process and progress of learning rather than the outcome, perfection and speed that is the goal)  

• Take turns reading a book out loud together or watching a movie and talking about the plot or the characters (teach your child how to use talk-to-text technology to help them share their ideas on paper)

• Write letters to friends or family members,

• Or help them learn to plan for a trip by creating and following a list and then have your child pack their  own suitcase (with a quick read aloud of the list as they put things into the suitcase itself as a double check)

Hopefully through this newsletter and Dr. Schultz’s article, you have learned about the importance of sharing your child’s diagnosis with them, and how summer can be the perfect time to focus on learning more together about how our children’s brains work and how we can work together to build skills (both in areas of interest and in areas of challenge) without the additional stress of academics that the school year brings.

Where are you and your child on the path of acceptance to determination and empowerment?

What might your child need most to succeed in whatever they will be doing this fall and how might you support them this summer in working toward and meeting those needs?

There are so many possible needs and skills for everyone. Take time to reflect on your own and explore with your child to see what you discover together are what your child most needs right now:

• Confidence

• Fun

• Sleep

• Social opportunities

• Exercise

• Nutrition

• A particular passion project of their choosing

• Extra help in reading, math, writing, or other academic skills

• Executive Function Skills

• Self-awareness

• Self-regulation

• Self-advocacy

• Self-agency

• Self-determination

No matter what you decide, there are numerous resources to help with meeting those needs and developing the skills. The most important resource is you and the most important elements to include this summer are fun and connection!

Here’s to enjoying the summer and making meaningful memories as you also discover and develop new awareness, new skills, greater confidence, and greater connection!

Yours in the journey of empowering one another,

Courtney and the 2TTS, Inc. Team