Executive functions (EF) are the mental skills that individuals use to help them achieve their goals and meet expectations. Some people liken these skills to a "conductor" of an orchestra because they help different parts of the brain work at the right time and in the right place to achieve the intended goals.  These skills include the ability to focus, pay attention, plan, prioritize, manage time, get started on tasks, follow through with plans, manage overwhelm and other emotions, and being able to remember and use information shared with you. Not being able to do these things is NOT a character flaw nor is it a behavioral issue or problem; these are skills which need to be learned. 

 

We are not born with these skills; like many other skills in life such as reading, math, writing, music, dance, sports, acting, music, etc, we have to learn and practice them so that they are easier to do. Just like with other skills, some people have an easier time learning and using them while others need more assistance, instruction, and help.

 

The older we get, the more responsibilities we have and the more we are expected to and need to use these skills to manage all aspects of life: chores, school, college, work, parenting, running a business, etc. When we forget things, miss deadlines, or otherwise don't manage our responsibilities well, people most often assume that we aren't doing them because we are disrespectful, lazy, unmotivated, aren't listening, or simply don't care. This is especially true for people who are otherwise capable and don't have any other apparent reason for not doing things.

​

This assumption results in a behavioral approach such as rewards and consequences which don't typically work because the underlying reason for the unmet expectations is not a lack of will but rather a lack of skill.  And just like we can't use rewards and consequences to get someone to read, write, or learn math, we can't use them to get someone to use executive function skills; we have to teach them, help them practice, and provide a level of accountability and support that meets them at their level of readiness and ability.​

​

That type of scaffolding is exactly what we do in our coaching at 2tametheshamE, Inc. Ready to learn more?  Click the link below to schedule a time to talk to us about how coaching can help build confidence, skills, relationships, and lasting success.